Merriam-Webster defines perfectionism as “a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable.”1 The expression of that can vary depending on the individual.
I have been a self-diagnosed perfectionist for as long as I can remember, and it has showed itself in various areas of my life. With reading, though, it means that a book feels ruined if any part of it is dented or creased, I can’t read many of the books that I own for fear that I’ll damage them in some way, my desire for annotating is smothered by my fear of not being able to replicate the examples I see online, and I’ve spent too much money buying multiple copies of a single book prior to actually reading it.
To be fair, I do own a lot of Special Edition books, signed and exclusive copies from different stores. Not all of those Special Editions are all that special — though, that is a discussion for another day. Either way, some of my anxieties are justified, but not all of them.
It took an incredibly long time for me to realize how my perfectionism was holding me back from fully enjoying reading; I would notice little signs and promptly ignore them. Then, out of nowhere, I started to hate reading hardcovers and I craved the feel of a paperback in my hands. For a while, I dismissed it as a weird brain thing. As the feeling persisted, though, I tried to figure out exactly what I was feeling and why. And I did.
I’ve always loved hardcovers for their sturdiness, and I was stuck on keeping them as a part of my permanent personal library. Because I had such long-term ideas in mind for them, though, it exacerbated my fears of ruining them. Comparatively, paperbacks seem so easy to damage that it’s almost inevitable, taking some of the pressure off of me. I still use a method to keep the spine from creasing, made popular by social media (iykyk), but that’s about it. That was the beginning, but definitely not the end.
It made me take a closer look at my perfectionist habits as a whole, and now I’m working to unlearn them.
- I borrow books from the library a lot more often. If my local library has a book I want to read, I’ll go ahead and borrow it even if I own it. Because it has been and will inevitably be borrowed by a lot of people, I can rest easy in the knowledge that there’s no way that it will stay in pristine condition. And that’s okay.
- I try to buy used books instead of new ones. Similar to a library book, a used book is already pre-loved and incapable of being in pristine condition. That makes it a lot harder to put pressure on myself.
- I am actively making choices to let myself fully enjoy the experience of reading. If it’s more comfortable for me to bend my paperback, I’ll do it. If I want to read outside when it’s raining or I’m sitting on the beach, I’ll do it.
- I’m working on my willingness to annotate. This is probably the hardest one for me, but I am making progress. I started with colored tabs that are easy to remove, and I’ve progressed to underlining quotes that catch my eye and heart.
I still take care of my books, but I’m a lot less rigid and anxious about it.
At the end of the day, books are meant for us to fully enjoy and experience, not to sit on a shelf and collect dust. The entire point of the book is what is inside of it, even with the genuine Special Editions of our favorite books that we love and bring us joy, and I need that reminder sometimes.
Thank you for exploring with us! Until next time, may the pages and paths ahead of you be great.
- Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Perfectionism. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved September 22, 2025, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/perfectionism. ↩︎
